• The boys try to fatten up Butters and then liposuction him so they can get a marketing deal at a local restaurant. Meanwhile, Jared from the Subway commercials causes a controversy when he reveals that he lost weight with the help of aides.
  • The kids and their families take a vacation together in Aspen. However, the parents get stuck in an endless timeshare presentation, and Stan is forced into a showdown with a cocky skier.
  • The boys disguise Butters as a mutant to win prizes on The Maury Povich show. They become upset when Butters' prize is a round of putt-putt golf, and so Cartman goes on the show as an out of control teen. The mutant freaks who make a career of visiting TV talk shows go on strike, taking Butters with them.
  • Stan leads the boys in kidnapping all the baby cows from a local ranch after a first hand look at how veal is made turns him into a vegetarian.
  • The boys have to sit through an episode of “Fightin' Round The World” with Russell Crowe so they can see a preview for the new movie starring Terrence & Philip. However, bad luck forces them to race across town searching for a working TV.
  • After being shunned by his friends, Butters develops a villainous alter ego and sets out to wreak havoc on the town. Meanwhile, the boys search for a new friend.
  • Professor Chaos struggles to find an evil scheme that hasn't already been done on “The Simpsons.” Meanwhile, Cartman accidentally creates life in his aquarium.
  • Father Maxi travels to the Vatican to confront the growing problem of priests molesting children. Meanwhile, Cartman discovers that it is possible to crap out of your mouth.
  • The boys start a group to stop a maniacal Steven Spielberg from altering “Raiders of the Lost Ark” while also catering to a group who demand a trailer-trash toddler murderer be freed.
  • Bebe's breasts begin to develop, and the boys are at a loss to explain why they are suddenly drawn to her, when they had no interest in her before.
  • Parents in South Park become gripped with fear that their children will be abducted, which leads to them taking more and more extreme measures to ensure their safety, finally culminating in a giant wall being built around the town.
  • The boys try to build a ladder to heaven to retrieve a winning ticket Kenny had before he died. When their efforts are mistaken for an act of childhood innocence, a media circus ensues.
  • Randy and Sharon realize too late that the box they have sent with the boys contains a porno rather than a copy of “The Lord Of The Rings.” As the parents race to stop them in time, the boys realize the tape they have has a strange power over people.
  • Mr. Garrison does what he can to get fired for being gay so he can sue the school for millions of dollars. This turns out to be easier said than done because the parents and school staff feel they have to be tolerant no matter what.
  • Stan tries to disprove psychic John Edward after a reading messes with Kyle's mind. Meanwhile, Cartman and Chef travel to Scotland to exorcise Kenny from Cartman's body.
  • A freak electric storm causes Stan's future self to return to the present. Stan's future self is an unemployed drug addict, but Stan suspects that it is a hoax.
  • When an attempt to bring Christmas to Iraq turns disastrous, the boys head to Iraq with Jesus and Mr. Hankey to save Santa from terrorists.
  • Chef and the children learn that Earth is actually just a reality show for other planets. When they learn it is to be canceled, the boys travel to a distant planet to plead their case to the network executives.
  • Jimmy and Timmy form a club for people who were handicapped from birth. They call it the Crips, and soon find themselves caught up in gang warfare with the real Crips in Denver. Meanwhile, Christopher Reeve does battle with Gene Hackman over stem cell research.
  • The boys toilet paper their art teacher's house to get revenge for a bad grade. When Kyle's guilty conscience makes him want to confess, Cartman makes an attempt on his life.
  • The town is divided down the middle on the Iraq war issue. Therefore, Cartman tries to induce a flashback so that he can find out what the Founding Fathers would have to say about the war.
  • Cartman makes a Jennifer Lopez hand doll and turns her into a music star, which draws the furious anger of the real Jennifer Lopez as well as the sexual advances of Ben Affleck.
  • After the boys start a Jr. Detective's Club and find a girl's missing doll, they are recruited by the county police department. Their first assignment: to break up a meth lab.
  • South Park residents are forced out of their homes when an Indian casino takes their land.
  • Kyle, Mr. Garrison and Mr. Slave travel to New York City to bring an end to the latest “metrosexual” fad, and discover that it's actually part of a crab-people conspiracy to take over the planet.
  • Cartman, Butters and Token become Christian rock stars so that Cartman can win his bet with Kyle. Meanwhile, Kyle, Stan and Kenny learn the sad consequences of illegally downloading music from the Internet.
  • South Park takes all of the driver's licenses away from its senior citizens, and the AARP responds by launching an armed invasion of the town to defend their rights.
  • When Butters is invited to Kyle's birthday party instead of Cartman, Cartman kidnaps Butters and locks him in a bomb shelter.
  • Stan learns about the Mormon religion after a new family moves to South Park from Utah. Caught up in the family-friendly doctrine of the church, Randy declares the Marshes to be Mormon as well.
  • Rob Reiner comes to town to lead an anti tobacco crusade after the boys briefly take up smoking.
  • Stan becomes inconsolable after Wendy breaks up with him, and Butters has a crush on a sexy waitress at a local restaurant.
  • The boys go to Canada to retrieve Ike, after his birth parents show up in South Park and claim him as their own.
  • The boys lie to get ninja weapons from the fair, but must decide whether or not to tell their parents when Butters is injured with a throwing star.
  • Jimmy begins using steroids to improve his chances in the special Olympics. Meanwhile, Cartman disguises himself as a handicapped boy so he can enter as well and win the cash prize.
  • Cartman leads a campaign against the Jews after seeing “The Passion Of The Christ.” Meanwhile, Stan and Kenny try to get their money back from Mel Gibson and discover that he is completely insane.
  • A gang of kids from the O.C. challenge Stan do a dance-off. But before the big event, Butters must confront a painful event from his past.
  • Cartman dresses up as a robot from Japan, sent to Butters. He tricks him into believing it and can't give away his identity because he finds out Butters has a video of him dancing to Britney Spears and kissing a Justin Timberlake picture! It gets even more out of hand as the military decide to try to capture ‘the robot’ to make it a weapon.
  • Michael Jackson moves to South Park but tries to conceal his identity. and local cops try to frame him because he is a rich black man.
  • When people from a poverty-stricken future travel back in time to find work, South Park residents accuse them of taking their jobs.
  • Stan refuses to vote in the school mascot election because his choices are a giant douche and a turd sandwich. Unfortunately, his views on voting are seen as un-American, and he is ultimately banished from the town.
  • When a Wall-Mart built in South Park takes business away from local businesses, the boys go to the company's headquarters to get it destroyed.
  • A bully who was sent to juvenile hall in a misunderstanding is released, and comes looking for revenge.
  • The boys begin to exaggerate stories when their student news show falls behind in the ratings.
  • Mr. Slave fights against Paris Hilton when she becomes a bad influence on the girls in South Park. Meanwhile, Paris offers Butters' parents a huge amount of money if she can keep Butters as a pet.
  • Cartman mistakenly believes he is a psychic, and is recruited by the police to help them with investigations.
  • Stan helps a group of woodland critters by killing a mountain lion, only to discover that he's helping them give birth to the Antichrist.
  • After Mr. Garrison gets an operation and becomes a woman, Kyle decides he wants to be black and Gerald decides he wants to be a dolphin.
  • Cartman leads the resistance when a mass of hippies accumulates in South Park and starts a music festival.
  • The boys start a talent agency and represent a woman named Wing in Hollywood.
  • Can Cartman and Kenny stay as “Best Friends Forever”, even when Kenny buys the last PSP in stock? A 2005 Emmy Award Winner for Outstanding Animated Program (in Less Than One Hour)!
  • The boys enlist Kyle's cousin to help them lose in baseball so they won't have to go to the finals. Meanwhile, Randy trains to fight other parents during Stan's games.
  • When the boys decide to ignore Cartman, he assumes that he is dead, and enlists Butters to help him make up for his past sins.
  • Jimmy gets his first erection just days before the school talent show.
  • When a dam breaks and floods a nearby town, South Park residents assume it was caused by global warming and barricade themselves in the community center.
  • Butters fake his own death and disguises himself as a girl so he can infiltrate a sleepover and steal a fortune telling device from the girls. Meanwhile, Butters' father turns to the occult to bring back his son.
  • Mrs. Garrison leads the fight against gay marriage when she learns her ex is getting married. Meanwhile, Stan becomes jealous when Kyle and Wendy are paired up for a school project.
  • Cartman leads a vendetta against kids with red hair and freckles, until a prank makes him think he is one of them.
  • After Stan scores a remarkably high “Thetan Level” at a Scientology center, he is considered to be the reincarnation of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard. John Travolta, Tom Cruise and other Scientologists go to South Park to convince Stan to be their leader, but when Stan makes disparaging remarks about Cruise's acting, the movie star locks himself inside a bedroom closet. R&B singer R. Kelly is recruited to get Tom Cruise to come out of the closet, but eventually Kelly, as well as Travolta, find themselves all trapped in the closet.
  • When a prank convinces the boys that a whale in a local aquarium is an alien from the moon, they go to extreme measures to sent it home.
  • Randy is forced to go to AA meetings, where he becomes convinced that he has a disease. Desperate, he and Stan go on a pilgrimage to a statue of the virgin Mary that is miraculously bleeding from its ass.
  • Chef returns to town after joining a group called The Super Adventure Club. However, when he begins to express an interest in molesting children, the boys suspect that the club has brainwashed him.
  • Stan convinces everyone in South Park to drive Hybrid cars after Kyle moves to San Francisco. However, soon a dangerous cloud of “smug” forms over South Park.
  • Cartman begins a one-man crusade to get “Family Guy” taken off the air after it shows an image of Mohammed. But his real motive is not that it's offensive to Muslims–it's because the show's not funny.
  • Cartman finds an unlikely ally in his quest to get “Family Guy” off the air: Bart Simpson. He also discovers Fox's surprising secret about the show's writers.
  • Towelie's autobiography, “A Million Little Fibers”, becomes Oprah Winfrey's official Book of the Month selection and a bestseller… but for how long?
  • A lonely and attention-desperate Al Gore comes to South Park Elementary to explain the dangers of the biggest threat to the planet: Manbearpig. Although the kids believe Gore uses Manbearpig as a way of gaining attention, they decide to help him capture the creature…with disastrous results.
  • Eric's mom turns to a “dog whisperer” as a last resort to turn him to a good little boy. The whisperer is successful in making Eric calm and submissive, but he may have also turned him into a repressed killer.
  • The kids work around the clock to improve their character skills in “World of Warcraft” so that they can beat a fellow gamer who keeps violating the rules and killing everyone else's characters.
  • Kyle sets out to prove that 9/11 wasn't a government conspiracy, and actually uncovers a government conspiracy to create a conspiracy.
  • Kyle discovers that his brother Ike is having a sexual relationship with his kindergarten teacher. The police are reluctant to help, so Kyle is forced to turn to the new school hall monitor for help: Eric “Dawg” Cartman.
  • Satan returns to Earth to throw a huge members-only Holloween party in Los Angeles, and the boys keep summoning the ghost of Biggie Smalls–which means that he's going to miss the party.
  • Cartman tries to cryogenically freeze himself so that he doesn't have to wait for the new Nintendo machine, and Ms. Garrison falls for the new Evolution teacher and becomes an Atheist.
  • Cartman is stuck in the future, in the middle of an international civil war between rival Atheist factions. And he STILL can't play Nintendo Wii.
  • Stan Marsh has hit rock bottom. He's got no job, no bicycle and his only way out of a bad situation, is to coach the local pee wee hockey team. Once a hotshot pee wee hockey player himself, Stan Marsh has tried to put those days behind him. But he's still living with the memory of how let his team down when he missed the winning shot in the big game. Now, he's about to find out that being a coach means facing your past. He's determined to show his kids what it's like to be a winner!
  • Stan becomes a social outcast after his father Randy says “the N-Word” on national television, but Michael Richards and Mark Furhman come to Randy's rescue.
  • Cartman takes a photo with Butters's penis in his mouth to prove Butters is gay. He later finds out what the picture really means and freaks out when the photo disappears. Meanwhile, Butters to has to go to a special camp to calm his urges.
  • A lice outbreak hits Ms. Garrison's class, and at least one parasite is determined to survive after his lice civilization is destroyed.
  • While trying to find a way to persecute the new Arab kid in his class, Cartman accidentally uncovers an unrelated plot to assassinate Hillary Clinton at a South Park political rally.
  • In a parody of “The daVinci Code,” Stan discovers the real reason behind Easter, decorating eggs, and the Easter Bunny.
  • Ms. Garrison's latest date goes so badly that she assigns the class the book report over the weekend, but the boys hire immigrant labor to write it. Meanwhile, Ms. Garrison becomes a lesbian and saves the women's bar from a Persian takeover.
  • One day after Kyle gives $20 to a homeless person, South Park becomes overrun with panhandlers.
  • Cartman fakes having Tourette's syndrome so he can say whatever he wants without getting in trouble.
  • Randy Marsh sets the world record for the biggest bowel movement, until Bono comes along and challenges it.
  • Cartman takes Kyle to court because he refuses to follow through with his promise to suck Cartman's balls if they see a Leprechaun. Meanwhile, Muslim extremists attack “Imaginationland,” and the government plans a counter-attack.